Girls like birthdays more than men

Research unveiled today shows the average woman makes a bigger deal of her birthday than the average man does of his.

After data-mining social media for several months, a team of scientists from Moxbridge university found that females are twenty four times more likely to create an event entitled "Birthday drinks!!! :D", and a staggering one hundred and twelve times more likely to post a "Birthday Selfie."

Birthday girl, Catherine Howard, 24, told us, "I love birthdays. I don't get why anyone wouldn't celebrate theirs! It's a great excuse to get everyone together, have a few drinks, and most importantly, just have a laugh!!"

Michael Hughes, 26, however, offered a different perspective. "Cat does this every year. Gets us all to dress up so we can go to some moderately trendy bar, where we sit around unable to hear each other for a couple of hours. That's before going to some equally unbearable night club, where social protocol obliges us to "dance", the excruciating awkwardness of it being broken like clockwork every twenty minutes by "DRINK??", loudly mimed by Cat or one of her henchmen. Then we'll stand in the queue to pay £30 a round for drinks we all silently pray will never come, because it signals the restarting of the whole ghastly cycle."

Henry Milgram, leading the Moxbridge project, said, "There are manifold reasons that women tend to make a bigger fuss of their birthdays than men. But basically we reckon girls like to feel a bit special. Same as weddings."

Meanwhile, office-drone, Tom Davis, said, "So the other Saturday I got up and checked my Facebook. To my surprise I had 29 notifications. It seems that over the course of the previous night I had had a "Birth-Day", which apparently is something good, because loads of people have congratulated me. Well well... who knew?"