Break up 1

My tears came like my words; escaping me in unfeeling, steady, meter. My counterpart on the other end of the phone was doing worse. Her retching came in heaves, islands of solid sound among a mangle of shrieking wails and heart-shaking groans.

But  I had to keep going. I felt like one of Pol Pot's  executioners, grimly working my way through a family  of  "new people." I'd already been through the the jealousy, the resentment, the anger. But now I found no pleasure in my retribution. "Numb yourself.  Keep human feeling  at bay. Just until it's over. Each shrieking plea, each fresh flicker of hope, extinguish.  Don't be cruel. Don't prolong their pain. Don't prolong yours."

"Please, just let it be over."

Until finally, on delivering the final bullet, the sound that was crushing my skull suddenly stops. Line - dead. And I'm left - still feeling nothing - acutely aware of my surroundings. I stand alone in a crater where a city once stood. Silence surrounds me, somehow audible in the highest definition, but for a mute wind, gently buffeting the debris.

There's a new sensitivity to my senses. Registering the slightest movement and feeling every nuzzle of wind. If someone would call, I'd respond immediately. Yet for the last twenty minutes I've sat like a ragdoll - limp and completely still, my gaze not moving even a tenth of an inch.

Ever so slowly,  I start to form simple  thoughts. I want to go outside, and dumbly shuffle, foot-by-foot, towards the exit. An apprehension of returning feeling builds. Nausea builds as the taste of bile announces itself in the back of my throat. And then, all of a sudden, stood alone on a warm night beneath a palm tree, I implode like a condemned building.

Essential purchases only

Wayne Hicks, lockdown furloughee, today visited his local Tesco Express to purchase toilet roll, essential products such as toiletries being among the few valid reasons to enter a shop.

Wayne explained "I entered the shop and headed directly for the toiletries section, being sure to respect the two metre distancing rule at all times. However, as I picked up the 1-roll pack of loo toilet paper,  a curious thirst came upon me, and to my consternation I realised that it could only be quenched by a nice, cold, three or four packs of San Miguel. I picked these up and hastened to the till. By serendipity I espied some varieties of Walkers Sensations, and was struck by the epiphany that these might make a fine accompaniment to the alcoholic beverages that I had chanced upon. Given that I was already in the shop - for my essentials toilet roll that is -  I scooped up several.

As I reached the till, I placed the toilet roll upon the desk, and happened to make mention of the fact - loudly, in case she were hard of hearing - that this toilet roll would be a load off my mind.  "Oh, and I nearly forgot!", as I looked down in surprise at my basket, "since I'm already here, I might as well be taking these" and placed the 16 440ml cans of beer and several family size packs of crisps atop the counter.

As the cashier dutifully scanned my items through, I spotted a shiny locker behind her. ”Cigarettes you say? Perhaps it's time I gave them a try.”