Dear Vodafone

I have never written a complaint before, however my experience of Vodafone is so bad I feel morally obliged to report it.

Today I rang up to get a PAC code to leave them. My reasons comprised:

- Flat out, to my face, repeated lying by their sales people.
- Terrible phone signal
- Faulty handset, which they then lost for two months, despite me to go into the local Vodafone shop several times.

So, rang up their helpline, and told them as serenely as can be that I was intending to discontinue my contract, and could they please tell me how to go about that. I realised at that point that I had been cut off.

So I rang them again. This time I got sent round the houses (about 4 or 5 different agents) and was offered a deal. After turning this down I got put through to a call centre, who gave me a direct-line number to call to get my PAC code. I called this, and was greeted by the more or less the same options as I when I first called, except that when I pressed "3" this time, the cheery voice simply said "Goodbye!" and hung up.

So I went online.

Brilliant, brilliant chat with online agent 'AineH'. I wish I could fit the transcript in here but sadly that would be impractical. S/he asked me some unusually extensive security questions, then refused to give me the PAC code until I had listened to an offer (I'd requested it very politely several times).

I accepted on the basis that s/he would give me the PAC code after I had listened to the offer. S/he then asked me a load more questions about my needs, which I answered, before she finally issued an offer. I listened, politely declined, and again requested my PAC code. True to form, it was again demanded of me that I explain why.

I explained that I requested the PAC code because she had promised that she would give me the PAC code. She said it would take a few minutes. I was then told to wait whilst s/he got the manager to see if s/he could change my mind.

At this point I said I would refer him/her to Ofcom. Then I got a load of apologies, and then was told that there was a problem with the PAC code generator.

Meanwhile I rang Vodafone (again), and finally got through to someone who told me that (contrary to what I'd been told before) a PAC code could be generated immediately, and that I didn't have to wait 30 days to cancel my (supposedly rolling) contract after all. I could simply use the PAC code with a new provider, and that would auto-cancel my contract with Vodafone.

During this phone conversation of about 15 minutes, there had been no movement from AineH - who was presumably still  huffing and hand-cranking away at the PAC generator. I told him/her thank you for your help and ended the conversation.

Vodafone, aside from the guy I spoke to online last month who immediately gave me the PAC code - which I was later told was useless because I had to wait 30 days before ending my already expired contract - and the last guy I spoke to on the phone, I truly hate you. By my reckoning your helpful:worse than unhelpful (possibly sadistic) staff, is about 11:1. I must assume that is trained into them, because I refuse to believe that there are so many naturally bad people in the world.

You are awful. Beyond awful. Unspeakably awful. Please, please, please take a long hard look in the mirror, because your business practices are making me lose faith in capitalism.

Yours oh-so-sincerely,

Peter Brown