A study published today in respected journal, "Child Psychology 101", claims kids these days are growing up self-obsessed narcissists. According to its author, Professor Dean, " This is due to the gleeful adulation they receive from enraptured mothers and members of the public, for little more than repeated gurglings of "bahbahbahbah!"

"You can see it in the little brutes clenched fists and beady eyes", commented one unenamoured observer. "The recognition that the world continues to revolve only at their sufferance, and dare its population withhold its rightful demands to evermore attention, it will be drowned like Sodom, in a purifying fury of wails and poop.

(Source http://www.childrenshealthnetwork.org/CRS/CRS/pa_prevspo_hhg.htm)