As a nation we pride
ourselves on our deeply embedded sense of irony. Personally, I find cushioning
understatements the most seemly of contrivances. However, this comes with its
problems.
I was just writing a
formal-ish letter, in which I wished to succinctly describe my efforts as
modest. Not Herculean, but not paltry. Average. Middling. Not great, but
certainly not bad. As I tried to find a single word or phrase to convey this, I
grew more and more frustrated; see below:
1) “Less-than-Herculean” I
realised would be read as “Anything-but-Herculean”, or rather “The opposite of
Herculean.”
2) “Modest” A synonym for paltry.
3) “Average” Who hears
this and responds with anything but a disappointed “oh”?
4) “Satisfactory.” My
mum was telling me about how she described some work done by her friend as
“satisfactory.” He stood nonplussed for a moment before piping, in offended
tone, “what’s wrong with it?”
I remember watching
“20th Century Battlefields.” A British battalion was being
wiped out: Upon being asked what their situation was by his American superior,
the British commander replied “a bit sticky.” Presumably he felt this would
convey to the Yank that he was nearly surrounded, outnumbered 10-1, and
required immediate reinforcement. Unfortunately it did not, and casualties
continued to rise.
I’m not sure exactly
what the solution is. Admittedly, when face to face, over the phone, and in
informal writing you can, usually, get across what you
mean. It’s only formal(ish) writing that apparently has to suffer.
Perhaps I should
accept it's just one of the double-edged swords we couldn't do without. I’m
certainly not advocating a renunciation –assuming it were collectively possible.
Maybe I’ll just have to work harder, and then I can describe my efforts as
“semi-decent”.
